5 Tips to Find the Right Trauma Therapist Near You

“I just never really felt like we made much progress.” I’ve heard this, or something close to it, countless times during my first meeting with a new client when talking about their previous therapy experiences. Maybe you’ve felt this way before, or maybe you’re afraid of feeling this way after starting therapy. By the end of this post I hope you leave with some comfort and confidence in understanding how to find the right fit for you in your area. Finding the right therapist, especially for trauma work, is one of the most important things that you can do for yourself in your therapist journey. I’m not going to lie or sugar-coat it. This process might be frustrating. You might need to spend some time ‘shopping around’ for the right fit. Here are 5 tips to help get you started.

Tip #1

Know specifically what you’re looking for. You’re not just looking for a trauma therapist. Maybe you’re looking for a trauma therapist that calls you out on your patterns or behaviors. Maybe you’re looking for a trauma therapist that lets you guide the process. Or, maybe you’re looking for a therapist that uses a specific approach. If you’re an overthinker, you may need someone who will help you just feel your feelings. If you’re a big feeler, you may need someone who will help you think more clearly. Whatever is is you’re looking for, be curious about why that is and try to learn what the specifics of that may be. This will help you later.

Tip #2

Shop around. There’s a number of ways to do this. The most common are through therapist finder platforms, such as Psychology Today or Therapist.com. On these platforms you can set filters, such as insurance accepted, specialties, and modalities used. You can also log-in to your insurance portal and choose the ‘Find a Provider’ option to look for providers directly in-network with your insurance. Other options are to ask for any of your other providers for recommendations or referrals. Your doctor, chiropractor, acupuncturist, etc. may be able to give you some good recommendations. Gather a list of several options.

Tip #3

Reach out to all of them. Yes, not just your potential favorite but all of them. When you’re needing a new dishwasher, you do your research you look up which ones are the most reliable, you compare information, and try to make a decision that’s affordable and reliable. Do the same thing for your mental health. Ask to schedule a consultation with each of them if they do consultations. Your schedule might look busier for awhile, but it’s temporary. Just while you’re looking for the right fit.

Tip #4

Ask the right questions. This is where the results from Tip #1 will come in handy. By now you should have a clearer idea of what you’re looking for and needing in a therapist. Now is your chance to ask that therapist directly if they can provide that for you. The therapist will have some questions for you, but you will benefit by also showing up to the consultation with a list of questions you have prepared. Some examples might look like “I’m looking for a therapist that’s comfortable challenging me and engages in a back and forth. Is this something you do in your work?” or maybe “I’m looking for a therapist that’s willing to let me talk through what I need to in order to process at my own pace. Is that something you often do in your work?”

It can be helpful here to mention the them that you’re really taking time to find the right fit. A good therapist will appreciate that. This is also a good time for you to ask what they do to manage their self-care and protect themselves from burnout. Burnout rates are really high in this profession. You want a therapist who knows how to protect themselves from that because if they don’t, it will impact their work with you. If they don’t feel like the right fit by the end of the consultation, feel free to ask them if they have any other recommendations of therapists that might be a good fit.

Tip #5

Breathe and practice patience. This process may take time and you may reach a point where you feel like giving up on the right fit. I promise there’s a therapist out there that’s the right fit for you. Remember why you started the process to begin with. Taking care of yourself. Showing up for yourself is so important. It can be so disheartening when you feel like you’re trying and it’s just not working. I’m going to talk about ways to take care of yourself through this process in my next blog post because honestly, this is the hardest part and advice to manage that needs more space than just a paragraph. It’s worth mentioning a lot of people find the right fit on your first try and that may happen for you. If it doesn’t, that’s okay. You’re just taking to time to make sure that when you start the work, it’s what you need it to be.

Conclusion

Know specifically what you’re looking for. Shop around. Reach out to all of them. Ask the right questions. Breathe and practice patience. This process will help you find a therapist that works for you. Us therapists are not a one-size-fits-all kind of deal. Making sure the one you’re working with feels good to you is the first most important thing you can do for yourself in your therapy journey. The next step is to take action. Maybe that means finding a better therapist for you now, maybe it means trying for the first time to find the right one, maybe it means trying again, or maybe it means asking your current therapist if the work you’re doing can change some to feel better for you. Wherever you’re at in that process, I hope that you feel heard, supported, and able to grow with whoever you choose.